[Voice]
[The post is accompanied with a picture of Bowser, the 4-5 month old alligator, wearing a fake turtle shell over its back and red/orange tissue paper floating in front of its mouth like fire.]

Gamera~
Gamera~
Gamera is really neat~
Gamera is filled with meat~
We all love you Gamera~

Hnn.... Or maybe it's more like King Koopa~.... Well, whatever. Gamera's got a catchier theme. Either way, no evildoer would dare trespass upon ground protected by the mighty Gamera, friend to children! Wahahaha~...

.... Say, 'zzit quieter 'round here lately or is it just me?

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
[OOC: Post inspired by this]

[Action/Journal/Whatever]
[Here we see the wild bunnygirl in her not-so-natural habitat, busy hiding.... Eggs. Rather, setting up booby traps around the Hellsing mansion with spring-loaded eggs and tripwires. The Not-Easter Bunny is prancing about the mansion merrily, wondering whether the traps'll catch some of the new arrivals or one of the regular inhabitants. Either way, it should be worth a laugh or two, right~? What a day for a fool to foolishly fool around fooling foolish fools. Hoho.]

Hmmmhmhmhmmmm~....

[Humming a tune as she stands up on her tip toes to set some eggs into a trap over a doorway.]

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
[OOC: Have at her. Anything goes. Action, journal, it's all fair game.]

HAHA~!

I FOUND IT~! Took a pretty long hunt through the movie store, but~... YEAH! Check it out!

[Video Post]
[A DVD case displaying this is the first thing the camera sees, before pulling back to see Haruko dressed in her typical riding gear, holding the movie case and spinning around gleefully.]

Wahahahahaha~! Six-String Samurai, a cult classic! Wandering guitarist swordsmen battling to be King of Vegas in a post-apocalyptic U.S.A.! A thrilling climactic sword fight/rock off between Buddy Holly and Slash in the end-all clash between rockabilly music and heavy metal! YEEEEAAAAH~!

[She stops spazzing and grins over at the camera.]

So, who wants to watch it with me? Emi-chan, you're in, right?

Hey, Boss, if this doesn't make you crack a smile, there's just no hope left for you.

( SPRINGTIME FOR HITLER )

Seemed like somethin' you could relate to~. And what with spring here already, it's even more relevant, too! Now, then...

[Video Post/Action for Hellsing mansion if they want]
[Haruko's room can be seen, and Haruko pops up into view as seen in the icon, dressed like so. It's a pretty basic room, with clothes and crap scattered around. There's a loft bed (like the top bunk of a bunk bed minus the bottom bunk), her Rickenbacker in one corner, some tools (presumably meant for her Vespa), some outfits hanging up that include a bunny suit and a french maid uniform, and some sort of terrarium where Bowser lived a few months ago. After she introduces herself she starts using a mock Australian accent.]

Hm? Oh! Yo, Haruko Haruhara or Haruhara Haruko here depending on whether you wanna romanize or not! Today we'ah goin' on a hunt deep inta th' dang'rous woilds of th' pool out back (Git it? Outback? Ha!) to troy an' git a look at th' woild beast dwellin' in those pristine watahs! C'mon!

[Dropping the accent, Haruko grabs the device and speeds through the Hellsing manor, nothing actually distinguishable through all the turbulence and slow auto-focus. When it all stops, she's at a pool (since that's where Integra told her to keep the critter, and it's not like anyone in the mansion that'd USE the pool couldn't EAT the damn thing if they felt like it). In it is a juvenile alligator, about 4 feet long total. Around its scaly neck is a spiked collar, with a tag reading "Bowser" on it. Haruko gets some dynamic camera angles on the creature as it basks contently in the sunlight, narrating with exaggerated Crocodile Hunter-type factoids and comments. Satisfied that the audience is thrilled enough, she kicks back on a nearby pool chair and basks as well. She leaves the camera on just for the hell of it.]

[Voice]
[Haruko sings along to tunes she's playing on her ukulele]

Ginza no tomo dachi shinju ga dai suki~♪
Motto kireina "Maki shinju"~♪
Dakedo sore dokoro ja nai n da neee,Aitsu no atama ha Peaaarl da yo~♫

Shinji Maki~.

I fell in-to a burnin' ring o' fire~♪
I went down, down, down,
And the flames went higher~♪
And it burns, burns, burns,
The ring of fire~♫

Johnny Cash~!

Aloha ʻoe, aloha ʻoe~♪
E ke onaona noho i ka lipo~♪
One fond embrace,
A hoʻi aʻe au~♪
Until we meet again~♫

Heck if I know~.

[Hellsing filter]
Chores are done~. Got any requests~?

You people never fail to entertain. I ever tell you that? Try not to hurt yourselves, huh~?

Oh, by the way, for those of you just tuning in, this is Haruhara Haruko, AKA Haruko-chan~, Defender of Galactic Justice for the Space Police Brotherhood~! Or something like that. You know how those kinds of organizations are about name changes. It's a real pain in the ass. Oh well~. Evildoers beware~!

That reminds me. Hey, Afro Samurai, head feeling any better yet? Nothing weird happening with it? Just thought I'd check up about any side-effects~. You know. Besides the concussion.

In the meantime, WHO WANTS BEADS~?

[Hellsing Filter]
Hey, how long're the kids stayin' here? Key-chan's creeping me out and the lolita's gonna gimme Diabetes.

( Private to Deities )

Huh. Is that how it was? Boy, the camera really does add ten pounds, how annoying.

Gotta love how none of it makes sense out of context, though, don't you~? Heck, probably doesn't make sense in context, that's how these things are.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
[OOC: Link is IC, whole video, as nothing that's ACTUALLY revealing is in it, and like she said, none of it makes real sense. It MIGHT, however, give some insight to Haruko's motives for certain actions, but probably not~. It'll confuse the hell out of folks at least.]

ULALA'S SWINGIN' REPORT SHOW~!

... Wha-? Whoa! This isn't the right place! We gotta hurry or we'll lose the scoop! Fuse! Come in, Fuse!

...... HUH?!

This is bad, folks! It looks like we got knocked off course and landed somewhere completely different from where we were headed! The original story's going to have to wait, but Space Channel 5 will do it's best to report the situation as it develops! This is Ulala for Space Channel 5, on the scene!

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
[OOC: Face it. Pink hair, fun-loving, musical, denizen of space. It's not much of a change, but I had to do something like this eventually. It was just a matter of time, don't you think? Feel free to notice the flashy reporter, the funky music, and the fact that Haruko's Vespa is following her around with a camera mounted on it. At this rate I may actually have to app Ulala X_x]

Man, I love curses like these. Never a dull moment. You guys having fun yet?

Stiiiiiilll~. Why should I let everyone else have all the fun? I'm feeling particularly daring today myself, to tell you the truth. Anyone wanna play with me~?

Hey, newbie, how 'bout you? Wanna play? Anything goes~.

~~~~~~~~~~
[OOC: Truth or dare times, if the hint wasn't good enough. Given it's Haruko, she (and I) happen to be far more partial to dares, so let loose. Anything from haircuts/dye to nudity to leaping a pit of sharks in the Vespa to Nickelodeon-style sliming, you name it. If you think it's just too weird to put out there right away, you can ask permission here and I'll say whether or not it's alright. I won't think any less of you, honest~. Have at it, Poly~!]

Heh, wonder if this'll help me find a part-time job or not. Ah, a beautiful maiden like myself, it's only fitting there's more than one color, don't you think~? That said~...

[Video post]
[There's Haruko, in a bright red bunny suit, bow tie, ears, cuffs (one dress cuff, the other, the one she usually wears, vaguely resembles half of a pair of handcuffs, albeit an unusual make), high heels, white pantyhose, fluffy tail and all. She's holding a big sign, one that says]
WILL WORK
PART-TIME
FOR MONEY
in big bold letters. Her hair is a rainbow, colors striped horizontally down the length of it, like she'd dyed it from the top down in different colors, like tie-dying. Her eyes are also a red matching her suit. Add to it a winning smile and perky... attitude... and you've got yourself a bunnygirl. Holding up the sign and presenting both it and herself in an admittedly exaggerated fashion (think Daicon V)... Well, there's only so many jobs she could be expecting to apply for. Marketing, for instance.]

Any takers~?

Sorry for the rough treatment the other day, Bas-chan. I'll make it up to you or something later, huh? Not your fault you're a wuss.

Oi, Seiya-kun, you pass out yet? You're gonna miss the show~!

Kio-kun, guess the game was a draw, huh~? Means we both gotta pay up~. Meet me in the square; I'll bring the stuff.

[Action to anyone in the Square]
[As per the rules of the game (or drinking contest, rather) Kio and Haruko came up with the other day, both parties have to perform a forfeit since the game ended in a draw. Take that as you will. So you'll be seeing Haruko riding up to the square on her Vespa, dressed in this. Kio will be given this to wear. OH, BUT THAT'S NOT ALL. Silly costumes is one thing, but there's more: Both parties must sandwich the other's head between two cream pies Kio's was spiked with chocolate sauce. And they'll be doing this in public, so feel free to notice, or waddle by, as it were, eh, duckies?]

Well, if the people in charge say so, I guess it can't be helped~. SO, who wants to go do their civic duty~?

Got a lot of catching up to do if we're gonna meet the quota, after all~.



... Oi, that reminds me. You. We oughta do that again some time. I had fun~.

1. Pull Atomsk here, somehow
2. If number 1 fails, Drag Takkun here, no matter whose head it has to be through.
3. Find someone to keep me entertained until then.
4. Teach Bowser to play catch.
5. Get vehicle insurance.
6. Find a baseball team to play on.

Sounds about right. Happy New Year~.

Oi, Boss, can I keep him~? C'mon, those big beady eyes are plucking your heart strings, aren't they? Admit it! He has your husband's smile, you know~. I'm gonna name 'im Bowser.

Hope everyone liked their gifts~. Let's hope you're all this agreeable when you're still stuck here a year from now... Haha~!

Now, then... Who should I stalk today Any of you new arrivals need any help~?

~~~~~~~~~
[OOC: This comes before the curse day, just so you know, and the links are IC. I may be planning to have Haruko go around and cause some slapstick mischief at some point in the future, so let me know if you're interested in being a victim~!]

[Action Post for the Music Festival]
[Back/forward-dated to whenever the festival is being held, the pseudo-band consisting of Haruko, Emille, Seiya, and nameless drum-playing NPC #4 will be performing The Pillow's "Advice". Naturally, Haruko is off to the side on bass, Emille and Seiya on guitar, Seiya doubling on vocals, and the drum-playing NPC playing drums because I couldn't wrangle anyone IC to do it.]


[Haruko's "Gift" List]
Seras- a wonder bra, Madonna style
Sir Integral Hellsing- a T-shirt that says "Bite me"
Alucard- sunscreen
Bastien- a spine from a model skeleton
D- a hand puppet
Thelma Bates- a vibrat a back massager
Tenten- pink hair dye

~~~~~~
( OOC )

Now that the mess from that last curse is cleaned up~...

You. Get a bat, a helmet, and guts. You're gonna need 'em all if you wanna beat me~. I throw a killer curve ball~...

...

Oh yeah, that reminds me. We're getting the band back together. We're on a mission from God, y'know! Actually, I need to get one in the first place for that festival thing. Let's see...
Bass? Check.
Lead Guitar? No check.
Vocals? No check.
Rhythm Guitar? No check.
Drums? No check.

Guess it's time for a talent hunt! Star Search, that kinda thing! Yeah~!

Of course, we're gonna need somewhere to practice, too... The celebrity lifestyle isn't as glamorous as it seems, pyon~.

[Audio]
Ew. It's all smelly. Man, this is gonna be a pain to clean up.

[Somewhat distant groaning can be heard coming closer before the swift movement of a blunt object being swung through the air, and a loud bass tone rings out as the Gibson makes contact with soft, rotting flesh. Repeat this process a few more times, a couple of growls and the like replacing the more docile-sounding groans halfway through. At the end, there's just a dripping noise and an almost audible sneer.]

Disgusting. I'd enjoy this if it wasn't so gross.

... Huh. Guess I didn't hit you hard enough. Let's fix that~.

[Bass tone + squishing sound]

Weird. Is it just me or are they getting more persistant?

[Hellsing Filter]
Hey, Boss, had a few more unwanted guests, but they're gone now. Made a little mess of the entrance, though. Should be alright now~.

Lemme know when you guys get back, it'll take a while to get all this crap out from behind the door.

Kiss Ratings: (Subject to updates)
Tenten-chan
Hnn~. You're pretty good. Take a little more initiative like that and you'll be a real knockout in no time~. Unless you prefer it to be the other way around, that is~...

D-kun
... Tch. You didn't even try. Terrible.

Miss Patron of the Arts
So-so. Coulda been better, but, eh.

I don't know what all of you were so upset about. I enjoyed myself~. We oughta have more like that, if you ask me. Heh~.

Hickory-dickory-doc, who knows why the clocks are stopped? Maybe a mouse ran up the side and tore out the gears~...

~~~~~~~~~
[OOC: Links OOC except the tree. Anyone who's currently backdating with her can expect to be put up on the list unless they wish otherwise. Also, anyone who wants to have Haruko go backdate an action log with their characters, feel free to ask~]